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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Mr. Genie, I'm bored

Two men and Jeff were on a cruise somewhere in the Bahamas when a huge storm came out of nowhere. Massive waves came crashing on the ship and it crushed the vessel into pieces. When the sea calmed down, the three found themselves stranded on a desert island.

They all looked around for anything they can salvage. They built shelter from the wreckage that was swept by the waves to the shore. They hunted for whatever animal they can find to sustain their hunger and drank coconut water to quench their thirst. They found watermelon and survived on them for a while.

Jeff is the one in the middle

Two weeks passed, they have already depleted all the resources in the island. Hunger was fast becoming a problem. They’ve began feasting on anything they can find. They started off with their shirts, then their pants.

Another week has passed with no more source of sustenance at all; they’ve started to talk about cannibalism. The thought itself created a sense of paranoia among the three of them. Jeff hallucinated and thought he smelled roasted beef. He was found licking one of the other men’s legs with that strange and eerie look in his eyes. He was smacked in the face and that’s when he came to his senses.

Struggling to leave the thought of feasting on each other’s flesh behind, the three men agreed to scour the island one more time for anything that can ease their starvation but to no avail. They decided to rest under a coconut tree, with no more hope…when Jeff stumbled upon an old oil lamp. He started to suck on it hoping that there was water in there. The two other men jumped and grabbed the lamp from Jeff when suddenly, a thick smoke came out of it and when the smoke faded (I’m sure you already know what came next)…out came a genie.

The genie could not figure out who actually rubbed the lamp that caused him to awaken, so he made his decision. He told the three that they each have one wish. The first one did not blink and instantly wished he was back home, enjoying a fat juicy burger with a large soda and a large fries. His wish was granted as fast as he can make it. The other man did not even think and he wished that he was back home with his ladies and a good serving of a royal dinner. In a flash, he was home with all the royal amenities he wished for.

Jeff, being the odd one took a while before he thought of a wish. In case I have not told you, Jeff’s IQ is a little bit higher than that of a dog. So he thought…and thought…and thought but still could not figure out a wish. After a week, the genie was getting bored of waiting and checked on Jeff. Jeff asked him if he can wait and the genie, being a slave to Jeff for this moment complied. The genie checked with Jeff every week for a couple more weeks. Same response.

The genie finally got tired of asking so he just left Jeff alone. After weeks of thinking, staring at a far distance with that empty look in his eyes, Jeff forgot that he was supposed to think of a wish. Finally, he summoned the genie and complained.

Jeff: Mr. genie, I’m bored.

Genie: What do you want me to do about it?

Jeff: Can you bring my friends back?