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Friday, December 18, 2009

Smart Kid!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Jeff what is your problem?" Jeff answered,

"I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Jeff to the principal's office. While Jeff waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Jeff was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Jeff: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Jeff: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Jeff can go to the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Jeff both agree. Ms Brooks asks,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Jeff, after a moment "Legs.

"Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Jeff: "Pockets".
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Jeff: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Jeff: Coconut
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Jeff was taking charge.

Jeff: Bubblegum
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Jeff: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Jeff: Yep.
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Jeff: Tent
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Jeff: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Jeff: Nose
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Jeff: Arrow
Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?Jeff: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

"Put Jeff in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."