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Friday, May 28, 2010

Computer Relationships

It's Time to Re-Assess Your Relationship With Your Computer When .....

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop at the computer to check your email on the way back to bed.
2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
4. You laugh at people who have computers with 28.8 modems.
5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.
6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.
8. When your computer's email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.
9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask.
10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you landscape.
11. Your family always knows where you are.
12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL"
13. If your computer's internet connection goes down, you cannot settle to any other tasks.
14. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

Ten Laws of Computing **
1. If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
2. When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
3. When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.
4. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.